Hello,

I have really realized in the past few days that I right these blogs more for my benefit than for anyone else’s. I guess the final realization of that near the end of my journey in NZ had spurred the impetus to continue to right daily. It is tough but definitely worth it.

I look forward to looking back in a few months time and remembering the places, experiences and feelings I have written about. And even one day I greatly look forward to sharing those thoughts and experiences with my kids.

I know for sure that I want kids at some point in my life. Will definitely add that as a 15 year goal.

And the thing is I really am only 19 years old. That is what I discard all the time. I definentely find my self comparing, learning from, and meeting people who are older than me. I guess that is because I want to take their knowledge of the past few years and help me learn and grow at this stage in my life. And to be honest I think it is working.

It also has something to do with my parents being older. I have never really considered age as a limiting factor in life. More of how you live than how long you’ve lived. For that I am thankful.

I often wonder whether it is harder being a man or a woman in life. I have currently come to a conclusion (I change my viewpoints as I grow and learn) that neither is harder as they aren’t comparable. I really feel like my viewpoint was solidified when thinking about whether or not it was easier for women to have closer and more meaningful relationships than men. I first thought that girls had the advantage as they are by nature inclined to forming groups and thus friendship, the fact that guys also biologically need relationships with women (IMO more so then women-men), and that they are generally less socially molded to be independent.

At the end of that thought train I went back and thought how outrageous those ideas were. There is simply no way to compare the diffuclty of being either as they are completely separate roles. This thought really confirmed what I have been taught and read about that sometimes the third or alternate conclusion is the right one.

Anyways those are my current thoughts. I seriously can’t wait to get back and have conversations with people who get and mean a lot to me. Then I can stop talking and thinking with myself so much. J Although following the principle that the most personal things are also the most universal, I’m pretty damn sure most people talk to themselves. In fact the other guy in my room this morning talked to himself while he packed.

Because I am absolutely sure your enjoying my thoughts as much as I do,

-Mathias